It's Your Money - NOT

Take a deep breath, make sure you're sitting down, and prepare yourself to try to be entirely unaffected by this experience I'm going to narrate...

I recently engaged in a business transaction that required me to keep track of a few thousand dollars. Because the bookkeeping was for a short time period, and it didn't make sense to create a new bank account specific for this purpose, I decided to use a personal savings account that was joint with my primary checking account.

My has a nice online system that makes it very easy to transfer money from one account to the other. So I transferred all of my current savings (unfortunately a very small dollar amount) into my checking account, and then deposited into savings the money I needed to keep track of. When money needed to be spent, I'd use a check or debit card tied to my checking account, and then reimburse the funds by transfering the same amount (with an identification note) from the savings account. It was clean, simple, and easy to track.

Then I got a notice in the mail from the bank. It was a verbose explanation that I had exceeded the transfers permitted by law (Reg D). Huh? So I held off making two more transfers and called the bank to get an assessment of the damage. In the current statement cycle, I had done eight transfers and the law only allows for six. The penalty is $10 per violation, and so I was being charged $20.

I kept my cool, and calmly asked the customer service rep if there was any way to not be penalized for not knowing this illogical rule. He asked if I had read all the account information paperwork I had signed when I set up the account. I thought a lie "yeah, I went straight home, read for an hour and a half, and I don't remember reading the part about six max transactions," but instead I said evenly, "that's not very realistic." He read me the most relevant parts of the law and then said that unfortunately there wasn't any way to wave the penalties.

Out of curiosity, I asked where the $20 would go. He responded, "That's a good question, let me find out." After four minutes on hold, he returned and said, "It all goes to the federal government." As I processed this information, my grasp of reality began to rapidly deteriorate. Hanging on to anything I could grab, I asked if I could go into the branch and withdraw any money without being penalized. He replied, "No problem. So long as you're in a branch office, you can transfer funds, withdraw money, whatever you want, and it doesn't count towards your limit of six. Just remember though, if you do keep violating Reg D, you'll receive another notice and your savings account will be shut down."

I didn't want any more clarification. I didn't want any more information. All I wanted to do was to hang up, to resolve in my mind that twice a month I'll make a trip to the bank to do all of my transfers at once, and most importantly to just move on with my life. The bars of enslavement Congress had placed around me, were incomprehensible, but they weren't going to hold me captive indefinitely.

I jumped over the bars. Hopefully in the future the bars won't get so high I can't jump over.